Hello everyone! :)
I'm new here and this is my first topic. I already posted my introduction too. So now I want to start talking with my hypersensitive fellows. How do you guys, who are in a relationship, manage it? In my case, I am a very jealous person and that caused lots of trouble in my relationship. I overthink everything a lot and I can easily find a jealousy trigger. Even though for many people it can sound irrational, well for me it's a real bother. But I'm doing my best to manage it, because I don't want to make my partner unhappy, but in the same time I have moments when I'm out of control and I need reassurance. Many times I was thinking that there might be a cause for this jealousy but now I'm more thinking that this may be me and given that I'm an hsp, it makes sense. So I would like to know if any of you guys experience something like this, or any other relationship issue and how manage it. I'm looking forward to hear your replies. :)
Hi Rena! I'm new here too, and I can relate to what you're saying. I find myself jealous from time to time and it's a terrible feeling. I have a habit of "loyalty checking" my husband- but not in an accusatory or ultimatum way, I just ask "Are we ok?" every so often. This used to upset him, until I sat him down and tried to explain that the jealousy isn't about him, it's about MY self worth. I had a tough childhood which has left me with a pretty low opinion of myself. I'm working on that through therapy. Essentially what I'm doing with my questioning is asking 'Am I still good enough for you?' Now that my husband knows I'm not accusing him of anything, he's much happier about answering my questions. I just have to keep in mind the big picture and try hard not to overthink things (I realize how hard that is though!). I hope that made sense! It reminds me of this comic...
A lot of your comments resonate with me too - as a male HSP - I am very attuned to silences, and mood. Quality communication is very important to me. I seem to need more depth than my partner was often willing to go into, due to her tiredness and workload.
Hello and sorry for my late response. Thanks for your answers , I m happy to hear your opinions and I can relate to your experience, both of you. Oh and that comic.. true story haha . I also wanna say that I have a clear image in my mind about how a happy relationship should be. I think that when two people love each other things shouldn t be so difficult . Yes , of course people are different and we have to do an effort to adjust to someone else when its a commitment, but mainly good things should come naturally, such as the sense of security , kindness , respect , and overall feeling loved. Sometimes people think that i m dreaming about an ideal situation but it s not exactly like that . Unfortunately, in my relationship that is not really happening and I started to doubt it, but I love my partner and we are doing our best to make an improvement even though it feels so difficult.