Kindlywired
Kallen
Kallen Somewhere

Does anyone else ever feel dismissed when talking to non-HSPs?

5 Replies
  • Kallen
    Kallen

    I will say something that might scare me or is making me upset, and usually met with, "It's fine" or other like things. Does anyone else experience this often? How do you deal with it?

  • Vivek
    Vivek

    Hello Kallen,

    I think it could be more related to how we perceive things. I know when I talk to others about issues that are upsetting to me, I don't get the same kind of response from others. I have learned through my conversations with others that most people are not trying to be dismissive, but are not aware of the severity of the issue.

  • Abhinav  Bhardwaj
    Abhinav Bhardwaj

    Vivek Adding to what Vivek said, I think there are a couple of scenarios here.

    1. I am discussing something meaningful(upsetting/vulnerable/feedback) with my circle of support (spouse, partner, parents, close friends) - This is my support group, and I'd expect helpful feedback. But again, not everyone will always behave the way we expect them to. I think sometimes the event/situation is not that significant for them (which is fine, as we all are very different). It happens to me a lot when I am talking to my Dad. Still, then it helps me to ask questions like (Is it that upsetting? If it is, why is my Dad not understanding? Maybe, I can try a different way to explain the situation.) The reason I ask these questions is that it helps me have control over my discussions. I can then align/change my questions for feedback that is useful for me. In my experience, This only works with people who care about you and want to help you.
    2. I am being dismissed by someone who does not know me - I think here, we can safely determine that the other person does not have enough perspective on our life to provide any helpful comments. They might give generic feedback (based on their notions and biases). I chose not to get bothered by their comments at all if they are not helpful. We all do that too, consciously or subconsciously.

    • Abhinav  Bhardwaj
      Abhinav Bhardwaj

      Nevertheless, when we think we are not heard, it is not a pleasant experience. I suggest deep breathing or going on a walk when you feel a lot of emotions. I usually do 5-10 fast breathing, which is very helpful.

    • Leah
      Leah

      whats 5 to 10 breathing?

    • Abhinav  Bhardwaj
      Abhinav Bhardwaj

      Leah It is a type of deep breathing. It helps the oxygen flow and relieves our stress.

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