So I held back inside i felt I was starving to help others, then I thought in some way I might be selfish, it could be that I am only helping others to fulfill my own self needs. Then I became very sad.I sifted myself exhaustingly, and couldnt find any self added motive, why do I care so much?
And why do I notice every tiny reflection off the lighting of the mirror in human natures of life? Why do I care? It's like a domino I see 10 miles down the road where the road will bend or break and who it will effect and so on that I think okay,
perphaps it's just the trauma I recieved and maybe it's the ptsd, maybe it's the studies of a book of life where I couldnt stop looking around my enviroment and learn what makes us all who we are?
why do we react as we do?
how can we all mend eachother?
Or am I just someone who has lost touch?
Oh pardon my share at this point it went from sharing to venting to re-examining.
I love science, biology anything in depth, it's just difficult to realize we live in a world that so few people dont see such beautiful people around us, for scales blind our hearts and eyes, perphaps I am too sensitive.
And at this point apart from saying hello.......lol I seemed to have lost my point.
SOOOOOOOOOOO,,,, i WILL SAY ERUMMM hello.......
Welcome AJ! In my mind, it's difficult to feel presence and emotion in other people when they don't seem to feel the same thing in us. I don't think you should feel like helping other people is somehow selfish, even if you get emotional benefit from it... but I also don't think you should let yourself believe that others are wrong for not feeling more deeply. It's likely that HSPs are somewhat anomalous, but that's okay. We can desire to connect emotionally, while understanding that many people are not trustworthy. It's a challenge to juggle these apparent contradictions, but in the end it's okay to live a conflicted internal life... just try to find as much joy as you can. I look forward to learning more about you. Cheers!